Starting therapy can be intimidating. It’s easy to let fear and uncertainty stand in the way of seeking help, especially if you’re unsure of what to expect, how you’ll feel once you start opening up, or even how to open up (i.e., finding the words to articulate your experiences or emotions). You may fear judgment, feel anxious about facing your emotions, or worry about the discomfort of talking to a stranger (especially if these things have been kept secret your whole life). These feelings are common, and they are also barriers to taking that first step toward greater self awareness, healing and growth.
So, if you’ve been hesitant about starting therapy, here are a few things that may help you take a step forward..
- Speak to someone who knows about therapy..
When I was first contemplating therapy, I spoke with someone who I know and trust to help me find some answers (thanks, Victoria!). Yes, even as a therapist you may be feeling ambivalent about therapy (the irony! – but through therapy I now know where this originates from). This is what was shared with me that helped me work through the ambivalence:
- therapy is not easy and can be confronting at times, but there is so much to gain from it.
- Working on yourself is a lifelong journey, and it is not about perfection it is about working on your stuff, at your own pace. Remember progress is not linear.
- Developing conscious awareness of your patterns is a gift you give to yourself, which you deserve and over time will be freeing.
- We shouldn’t be ignoring our psychological wounds and needs, as much as we shouldn’t be ignoring our physical wounds and needs.
- Tap into other mediums or your creativity to help along in your journey – ie journaling, art, music.
My conversation with Victoria was what I needed to take the step to enquire about an appointment, and I am so thankful for it. I am not one for much self disclosure, but I share these point with the hope of helping anyone who is contemplating taking this step (including early career psychologists/therapists). After some time, you too may notice that engaging in therapy is helpful for you, and those around you.
2. Who am I even opening up to?!
One of the several fears that prevent people from seeking therapy is the idea that the therapist will somehow be different or distant—a professional who is separate from the human experience you’re going through. But the person sitting across from you is just as human as you are. They are not immune to life’s struggles, emotional battles, or psychological/neurodevelopmental diagnoses.
Their job is not to judge or critique you, but to offer support, perspective, skills and guidance. They’ve chosen this career because they care about helping people, and their goal is to work with you, not above you. Some therapists seek therapy themselves (just as a doctor would seek medical treatment for a medical condition). In many ways, the relationship with your therapist can be one of mutual respect and understanding. You’re both bringing your human experiences to the table—yours shaped by life’s challenges, theirs shaped by training and experience.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Find the Right Fit
Therapy is deeply personal, and like any relationship, the connection with your therapist matters. Not all therapists practice the same, therefore not all therapists are going to be the right fit for you – and that’s okay. Just like you wouldn’t expect to click with everyone you meet in life, you may find that certain therapists’ approaches resonate more with you than others.
There’s no one-size-fits-all in therapy! Some may be more conversational and casual, while others may take a more structured, formal approach. Some may focus more on cognitive strategies, while others might be more emotionally focused or integrate various therapeutic techniques and understandings about different parts of us. One of the most important things that made my therapists the right fit for me, was her cultural understanding. While she is not the same culture as I am, her understanding (and willingness to continue to learn through curiosity) about how my culture shaped me was significant and a necessary part of my therapy.
If your first experience in therapy doesn’t feel like the right fit, don’t be discouraged. Therapy is about finding someone you feel comfortable and emotionally safe with to guide you through the process. Of course, I am not suggesting to jump from one therapist to another, but perhaps give yourself a trial period over a few sessions to determine if the therapist has what you need.
Starting therapy may be a step into the unknown. Sure, it comes with some costs and risks – the cost of your time (~1 hour), money (cost of the session) and the risk of emotional discomfort or feeling confronted (by your truth). But perhaps these costs are necessary to gain greater self-awareness, emotional healing, and personal growth.
It’s okay to feel nervous or unsure about starting. The very fact that you’re open to seeking help (or have read this far) shows a willingness to grow-and that’s already a powerful first step.
Remember, the person sitting across from you is just as human as you are. Don’t be afraid to find the right fit, and don’t shy away from the opportunity to learn more about yourself. In the end, therapy is not about perfection, but about self-awareness and gradually working on your stuff – whatever that may mean for you. So, take a deep breath, trust yourself, and take your first step. You might just find that it’s one of the most empowering decision you make.
If you’d like to explore therapy, contact me on admin@peaceofmindpsych.com.au or 0478 262 400, and we can chat about your needs (or any questions you may have about the process).
* Despite being a psychologist myself, I have used the word ‘therapist’ throughout this blog to be inclusive of all the wonderful psychoanalysts, counselling social workers, and counsellors whose work I know and respect.